Okay! Here's what I got going on...Right now I am in production with my
feature length DVD compilation called "Cerebral Print: The Secret Files".
It's hosted by Douglas Dunning from "G.L.O.W." and is in the vein of those
great old horror shows we used to stay up late to watch! There are all
kinds of crazy featurettes and extras on the DVD as well...such as an
interview with SHREK director Vicky Jenson, a real live PROBE TEST with
Felissa Rose, and a wonderful director's commentary by ME!! In all, there
should be almost 14 cerebral print short films on the dvd as well as an
inside look of the secret government organization that captures and
studies the extra terrestrials. Look closely for some of the cast of
"Army of Darkness"! The whole thing is good old fashioned extra
terrestrial fun just like "Midget Deathmatch!" A few of the "cerebral
prints" actually feature an erotic pleasure probe as opposed to the deadly
weapon we are used to seeing. Real scintillating stuff!
2)
I heard a rumor that you like, own Texas...or some shit like that...true?
Own
it? Shit son...my family built the fucking place! All kidding aside, I
am actually related to Moses Austin (Grandfather of Texas) and his son
Stephen F. Austin (Father of Texas). Between them the state was wrestled
away from the Spanish and allowed for anglo-american settlers to come in.
I plan on returning someday so I can move my space aliens into the
governors mansion!
3)Do you get residuals from that fuckin' song...(clap*clap*clap*...Deeeeeeppppp
in the hearrrrrrrt of Texas...?
No,
like a dummy, I scooped up the rights to "Gigli". Hey, I thought Ben
Affleck was due!
4)Seriously though, the ongoing "Cerebral Print" project you're involved
with, is absolute genius Bro, this thing is winning awards and getting
noticed like crazy, eh?
Thanks again...we won Best Sci-Fi Short at the 2004 Bare Bones
International Film Festival in Muskogee, Oklahoma for Sister of
Cerebral Print. That one starts with the alien in a love scene with
the hot wife of the mafia boss. Then the mafia corner the alien in their
headquarters which forces him to use his "erotic space probe" to get
free. About a month ago, HBO US Comedy Arts Festival called me and
said they heard about my Cerebral Print films and wanted to see them. You
see, some festival in the midwest played "Sister Of Cerebral Print"
and "Revenge of Cerebral Print" and the audience went nuts for
them....they started screening them in front of several other films it
wasn't even scheduled to play, wanting to play with the alien (who was
there), just nuts! It was cool as hell! We should hear back from the
people at HBO in January. That festival is in February...No
promises...just icing on the cake. We already have our distribution deal
with A55Films. Not ASS but A55...LOL...it makes me laugh to see it in
print and it is going to be a kickass DVD when it comes out. It is going
international baby!!! We want to be bigger than David Hasslehoff in
Germany!
5)Who all is involved with the "CP" projects.
We've got Richard Grove from "Army of Darkness" (Duke Henry the Red),
Felissa Rose from "Sleepaway Camp" and the soon to be released "Slaughter
Party", an interview with Vicky Jenson the director of "Shrek", J.A. Steel
from "The Third Society", Jed Rowen from the #1 Hong Kong film
"Sausalito", infamous filmmaker James Jackson, Thurman Jackson (a real
life pimp!), Scott Ingalls of "Drew Carey's Green Screen Show", John
Payne, David Stay from the original Japanese TV series "Photon", MItchel
Auman from "Mob Daze", and of course yours truly in a couple of cameos!
Other than that we've got a great crew of actors who completely blew us
away in the audition process. Amazing!
6)Honestly dude, this idea had to be drug/alcohol induced, right?
I
thought I was getting drugs and alcohol for doing this interview? Don't
fuckin' gyp me man!!! I'm jonesin' for the Savage Fix!!!!
7)What are the future plans for "CP"?
Show it to my grandmother and see how freaked out she gets. Then we will
be screening it in Los Angeles and New York prior to the worldwide DVD
release...We are having a huge party for it. Whoever buys it gets in
free!
8)In your opinion, what's the biggest problem with Hollywood today?
Nothing. Let those guys run around the same ring of posies they have been
running around. As long as they keep themselves busy with contrived
crapola, derivative works, and lame brain remakes (ooh, I like that...lame
brain remakes!) I can keep making my stuff and get it out there. It's
once they realize what I am doing that I think they will try to "pull me
back in"!! That's what worries me: when the crazies try to co-opt my
vision and be my best friend. Like Gary Busey told me, "Watch out for the
sharks." Did I just drop that name? Here, let me pick that up.
9)Do men have the "casting couch" problem, as well as the women? (We know
you've got a good story there somewhere.)
How the hell could you tell? You've been checking out that cheezy photo
online from "Another World" haven't you? Well, alright...you got me!
Yes! The "sausage fest" out here in LA does keep you one your toes, but
alas, if you want to get somewhere in this town you better bring along
your Chapstick and your knee pads...cause here in Hollywood they don't
take American Express!
10)Who do you think is the biggest asshole in Hollywood today?
I
think it may be me for not wanting to answer this question correctly.
Maybe later in my career I will single out Charlton Heston or Dyan Cannon
but for now...it's me! Wheeee! I pussed out!
