Title: Piranha 3DD
Director: John Gulager
When Dimension Films decided to unearth, and reboot, the Piranha series, 2010’s bloody, and funny, creation was a thing of pure horrific beauty. Everyone involved from the cast to the filmmakers knew what this was supposed to be and made no excuses about it. And it worked marvelously. That being said, there wasn’t an outcry for a sequel; for what they did just a couple years ago is a tough act to follow. It’s like having Christopher Nolan, or anyone for that matter, trying to take on Inception: Part 2.
However, this is Hollywood. And after the worldwide success of 2010, a sequel was eventually going to emerge from the depths of greed.
Surprisingly, this is not a complete letdown. It lacks the intelligence and wits of its predecessor, but that’s what can occur when you bring in an entirely different crew – in this case, the “Project Greenlight” bunch. Director John Gulager (Feast franchise) along with the writing duo that broke into the business with him in Patrick Melton and Marcus Dunstan (Feast, Saw IV-Saw VII scribes), along with a writing assist from horror producing veteran Joel Sission, pick up where the last flick left off and places the flesh-chomping fish in a waterpark just off a lake. No, it doesn’t matter how they make that happen, but if you need some type of explanation, Christopher Lloyd drops-in and bridges the gap in his brief ramblings. That makes no sense whatsoever.
Just about every gratuitous trick from the 2010 film is given a courtesy curtain call, albeit, the magicians (filmmakers) here are not as mystifying. Tons of boobs are on display; the deadly antagonists seem to still have a knack for taking out a man and/or woman’s private parts; and barrels of blood are dumped all over. It’s no holds barred and no apologies in this satire. Add in cameos from David Hasseloff (killing it by the way), Ving Rhames, David Koechner, and even Gary Busey, one should probably have a decent idea of what they’re dipping into with this sucker. And it’s shot entirely in 3D!
Bottom line: there’s good dumb and bad dumb. Most of the good dumb (mass hysteria, graphic carnage, tongue-in-cheek kills, and indirect raunchy/gory comedy) shows up after the halfway point. All the bad dumb (piss-poor acting – yes even for this, and just mindless continuity errors – general common sense) is mainly contained in the first half. I’m sure the filmmakers will all say that it’s part of the gag, but let’s just say yours truly didn’t have these thoughts when watching Piranha 3D. Maybe it was the editing or just irresponsible crafting here, yet either way, the creative levels did take a noticeable dip this time around.
So while it clearly doesn’t have the orgasmic stamina as its direct predecessor, at least it is better than last year’s disaster, Shark Night 3D. Plus, it has the Hoff!
In the end it has the three B’s to make it a passable B-movie horror/comedy: Blood, Boobs, & Bodies.
Story: Does it really matter?
Acting: If I must…C