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The 2013 Movie Rankings: The Host, G.I. Joe, and Room 237

Posted by Joe Belcastro On April - 1 - 2013 0 Comment

All the new arrivals sucked-out . G.I. Joe: Retaliation misfired. Room 237 forced the issue to a numbing bore. And as for The Host, although bad, it was one of those “it’s amusing because it’s bad” feelings. Recommend reading the micro-review section this week.

Here’s how the 2013 movie rankings are shaping up thus far:

1. Side Effects
2. Warm Bodies
3. Escape from Planet Earth
4. Oz the Great and Powerful
5. The Croods
6. 21 and Over
7. Snitch
8. Spring Breakers
9. Louder than Love: The Grande Ballroom Story
10. Beautiful Creatures
11. Empire State
12. Gangster Squad
13. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters
14. The Iceman
15. Dead Man Down
16. Stoker
17. Texas Chainsaw 3D
18. Bless Me, Ultima
19. Mama
20. Broken City
21. The Last Stand
22. Admission
23. Emperor
24. Stand Up Guys
25. Dark Skies
26. Olympus Has Fallen
27. Monk
28. The ABCs of Death
29. The Last Exorcism Part II
30. Jack the Giant Slayer
31. The Host
32. Room 237
33. The Call
34. Safe Haven
35. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
36. A Haunted House
37. Bullet to the Head
38. Identity Thief
39. A Good Day to Die Hard
40. G.I. Joe: Retaliation
41. Parker

Not screened: Movie 43, Phantom, InAPPropriate Comedy, Tyler Perry’s Temptation

MICRO-REVIEWS

G.I. Joe: Retaliation

Aside from a crisp 3D conversion and a decent action sequence involving swinging ninjas on a mountainous peak, this is pieced together like a crappy Transformers sequel taken from a rejected script for a Mission: Impossible installment.

The Host

Put it this way, the reason it wasn’t ranked lower was because the dialogue is so horrid (as in worse than Twilight), it ends up being a mildly enjoyable comedy. And to be fair, this did attempt to have a provocative thought or two. But what it really needed was the two robots from “Mystery Science 3000″ doing commentary.

Room 237

First off, it gives conspiracy theorists a bum rap. Secondly, it amounts to nothing more than a documentary that detects continuity errors in The Shining. Thirdly, some people have way too much time on their hands and are somewhat delusional. All that being said, the one thing that you can pull from this elongated montage: The late Stanley Kubrick is fascinating.

Channing Tatum and Dwayne Johnson in G.I. Joe: Retaliation

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