Title: Machete Kills
Directed by: Robert Rodriguez
Starring: Danny Trejo, Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen, Sofía Vergara, Lady Gaga, Cuba Gooding Jr.,
Antonio Banderas, Alexa Vega, Vanessa Hudgens, Mel Gibson
Running TIme: 107 minutes, Rated R, Available on DVD
Special Features: Deleted and Extended Scenes; Featurette with Cast & Crew Interviews
Machete is back and more badass than ever. Accused of murdering his own partner and sentenced to die at the hands of a racist sherrif and his deputy, he is saved (? – “Machete can’t be killed”) by United States President Rathcock (Charlie Sheen billed under his birth name Carlos Estevez) who recruits Machete to take down a madman in Alcapulco who is in possession of a nuclear weapon with the USA as its intended target. First Machete must meet up with his handler in Texas who can get him over the border, Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard showing off her bilingual chops), a perpetual beauty queen contestant with a secret wall in her dressing room stocked full of the latest weaponry. She tells Machete he must meet up with Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens) who can lead him to the madman Mendez (Demian Bichir); but first some blurry campy sex with a prompt to put on our 3D glasses.
Miss San Antonio flies Machete over his drop in Alcapulco where he must infiltrate a brothel run by Cereza’s mother Desdemona (Sofia Vergara) and her minion Killjoy (Spy Kid’s Alexa Vega all grown up – don’t worry she’s legal now) who don’t let Cereza go without an awesome gunfight. Cut to Machete meeting Mendez and we are all in for the truly bizarre. The bomb is set to go off if Mendez dies because the trigger is wired to his heart. Machete must bring Mendez to the USA and find the only scientist that knows how to disarm it: the mad scientist and government weapon designer Voz (Mel Gibson in a brilliantly casted role). Machete and his crew from the previous film, not limited to the ocularly impaired Luz (Michelle Rodriguez) to take down Voz and stop his mission, meanwhile being pursued by El Camaleon (Walton Goggins / Cuba Gooding Jr / Lady Gaga / Antonio Banderas), an assassin who can’t seem to grasp learning Spanish.
I’m not going to bother with my usual positives and negatives with this review because I loved every minute of this film. It’s fun. It’s campy. It’s not meant to be taken seriously. It’s just an ultra violent romp that is eye candy for the easily entertained. Everybody needs a break from living in the real world where everything has to be serious and morose. Here in Robert Rodriguez-land we can just sit down for a laugh and forget about life for an hour and forty-seven minutes . The violence is creative, the dialogue is hilarious, the characters are wonderfully random. The special features don’t really add much to the film because all of the best parts are already included, however the featurette shows that working with Robert Rodriguez would be like a dream come true.
Total Rating: A
Reviewed by: JM Willis