The Texture of Falling Maria Allred
Photo from The Texture of Falling by Maria Allred.

THE TEXTURE OF FALLING
Allred Films
Reviewed by: Harvey Karten
Director: Maria Allred
Screenwriter: Maria Allred
Cast: Benjamin Farmer, Maria Allred, Julie Webb, Patrick D. Green
Screened at: Critics’ link, NYC, 5/25/18
Opens: June 1 in NY, wider later

At least two critics have been fascinated by “The Texture of Falling,” calling it not “your usual popcorn movie” and “Never have I been so captivated.” Though the indie pic played at a few festivals where it won some awards, I suspect that this is the type of movie that critics and judges are afraid to pan for fear they will be themselves be considered retarded: “You don’t get it, do you?” or “If you did not understand this work of pure art, that’s your problem, not director Allred’s.”

Yes, it’s avant garde, the term meaning a new, untried, untested way of interpreting aspects of life, but on the whole the picture is gibberish that might find an audience of people who like to brag that they understand and enjoy films that are “untried, untested ways of interpreting aspects of life.”

I emphasize the word “gibberish.”

There are four principals: Louis (Julie Webb) who has a thing or too with the pretentious pianist Luke (Patrick Green). They “found each other,” both chain smokers talking about their addiction, but not so much to nicotine—that would be too common and vulgar. “Have you ever been addicted to people” as both women say. The only thing about this couple that sounds like real life is that he will not give up his ex-wife in another city for his children’s sake. Louisa is getting nowhere with Luke so she makes a film about her experience with the gent.

There’s a parallel plot, if that’s what you want to call it. Michael (Benjamin Farmer), an architect who is successful in his trade, hooks up with Sylvia (Maria Allred—who doubles as the writer-director of this film). The two principal relationships are similar except that Michael has probably seen too many sequels of—meaning two—of “Fifty Shades of Gray” and enjoys s&m with her. In this age of #MeToo it’s surprising that she’s the masochist, he the sadist.

Portland looks nice, though, to nobody’s surprise.

After you see this drivel, you might be tempted to reconsider your antipathy toward “The Mummy,” “Fast and Furious” (any one of the series will do) and “Terminator 5.”

Unrated. 74 minutes. © 2018 by Harvey Karten, Member, New York Film Critics Online

Story – D
Acting – C
Technical – C
Overall – C-

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By Harvey Karten

Harvey Karten is the founder of the The New York Film Critics Online (NYFCO) an organization composed of Internet film critics based in New York City. The group meets once a year, in December, for voting on its annual NYFCO Awards.

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