{"id":101571,"date":"2012-08-08T03:38:29","date_gmt":"2012-08-08T10:38:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/?p=101571"},"modified":"2012-08-07T18:40:41","modified_gmt":"2012-08-08T01:40:41","slug":"assassins-bullet-review","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2012\/08\/08\/assassins-bullet-review\/","title":{"rendered":"Assassin’s Bullet Review"},"content":{"rendered":"

Title: Assassin’s Bullet<\/p>\n

Director: Isaac Florentine<\/p>\n

Cast:\u00a0Christian Slater, Donald Sutherland, Elika Portnoy, Timothy Spall<\/strong><\/p>\n

I feel bad for Christian Slater, Donald Sutherland and Timothy Spall. They must have either been manipulated into acting in Assassin\u2019s Bullet, or straight out lied to. Those would be the only logical assumptions that can be made for why anyone would make the decision to be in this catastrophic disaster. Director Isaac Florentine, who also directed the MMA-based films, Undisputed II: Last Man Standing and Undisputed III: Redemption, now brings us a new film in his catalogue, called Assassin\u2019s Bullet, which hits an all-time low. For the aforementioned MMA films, you could make the argument that he was merely pandering to a bro-filled crowd. I really have no idea how his movies are consistently being made. I can only assume he\u2019s taken lessons from Uwe Boll in how to find loopholes in the tax system that helps fund his projects.<\/p>\n

\n

Now it may seem like I\u2019m being too harsh on a VOD movie, but in all seriousness, I\u2019m actually being too kind. Unapologetically stupid, it somehow manages to top itself in insulting the viewer time and time again with painfully expository dialogue and twists that I saw coming within the first ten minutes. Christian Slater plays Robert, who, by reputation, is \u201cexemplary\u201d in his duty as a government operative. As you might have assumed, he\u2019s haunted by his ex-wife, who died tragically and now he\u2019s incapable of getting over her. Donald Sutherland, who plays Ambassador Ashdown, is given very little to even work with; he\u2019s skipped over and played off as some sort of government pawn that paid his way into office. A leather-clad, vigilante woman is now making a run at a terrorist cell, and Ashdown calls Robert onto the case. Robert\u2019s sole friend, Dr. Kahn, played by Timothy Spall, is a psychologist who frequently meets Robert in a bar. Dr. Kahn is currently helping a woman named Vicky, played by Elika Portnoy, through her traumatic memories.<\/p>\n

Only a few minutes inn, you can certainly tell there was an overabundance of low- budget effects that went into the production that felt superfluous; one in particular is a strange \u201cwhoosh\u201d sound whenever something dramatic or suspenseful is happening. But the problems are not limited to the technical. A majority of Florentine\u2019s troubles come from the script, which seems like it was written on someone\u2019s lunch break with no thought or care. Vicky suffers the most due to the bad writing. She\u2019s a woman suffering from PTSD, who, by way of Dr. Kahn, looks to find help for her tormenting syncopic occurrences. All of this is directly caused by a memory she has of a terrorist detonating a bomb \u00a0and killing her parents in a town square. We\u2019re given so little insight into her psyche that, as an audience, we simply do not care at all. Not that one could\u2019ve expected much, given the b-grade look of the entire production.<\/p>\n

Even stranger, our hero, Robert, does literally nothing throughout the entire film. Florentine\u2019s focus seems to be on everyone and everything but Robert, who spends a majority of his time in a bar watching the exotic Middle-Eastern dancers. For someone so exemplary, he does nothing to deserve that title. This shows a complete misuse of someone like Christian Slater, certainly capable of more than he\u2019s been given. I don\u2019t full understand a lot of the directorial choices here, nor do I think Florentine had any idea why he was doing some of the things he does–he just seemed to be on overdrive. It\u2019s never really thrilling, either, for being a film that is supposedly written for that specific drama. If you value your time, then stay away. Don\u2019t waste your money like I did, you\u2019ll\u00a0only end up hating it even more. This may sound like something you might want to watch while you\u2019ve had a few drinks, and it might be–that\u2019s certainly how I would have preferred it.<\/p>\n

Story \u2013 F<\/p>\n

Acting \u2013 F<\/p>\n

Technical \u2013 F<\/p>\n

Overall \u2013 F<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Assassin's<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Title: Assassin’s Bullet Director: Isaac Florentine Cast:\u00a0Christian Slater, Donald Sutherland, Elika Portnoy, Timothy Spall I feel bad for Christian Slater, Donald Sutherland and Timothy Spall. They must have either been manipulated into acting in Assassin\u2019s Bullet, or straight out lied to. Those would be the only logical assumptions that can be made for why anyone 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