{"id":135357,"date":"2013-11-01T08:00:59","date_gmt":"2013-11-01T15:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/?p=135357"},"modified":"2013-11-01T08:00:59","modified_gmt":"2013-11-01T15:00:59","slug":"the-impaler-movie-review","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/","title":{"rendered":"The Impaler Movie Review"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Title: The Impaler<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Director: Derek Hockenbrough<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Starring: Teo Celigo, Diana Busuioc, Christian Gehring, Christina Collard, Katelynn Derengowski, Marcienne Dwyer, Rocco Nugent, Mark Jacobsen, Gregory Lee Kenyon<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The &#8220;Twilight&#8221; franchise may have drained its last vein, but vampires of all sorts still remain fairly popular. Indie horror flick &#8220;The Impaler&#8221; tries to put a Romanian spin on things, then, taking it all back to the origin story of Vlad the Impaler by dropping a bunch of visiting Los Angelenos into his old castle, and having the blood flow through an obligatory summoning-gone-wrong.<\/p>\n<p>Upon graduation, Adam (Christian Gehring) decides he and his friends &#8212; Dominic (Teo Celigo) and his girlfriend Chelsea (Marcienne Dwyer), Sean (Rocco Nugent, son of Ted) and his girlfriend Ashley (Christina Collard), plus Levy (Katelynn Derengowski) and Greg (Mark Jacobsen) &#8212; need a Euro-trip celebration, except without Fred Armisen. Inspired, or summoned, by a recurrent dream he&#8217;s been having, Adam books them a group stay at a Romanian castle. Once there, they meet groundskeeper Veronica (Diana Busuioc), who fills them in on some of the property&#8217;s backstory. General bickering and backbiting amongst the kids ensues, and when the blood eventually starts flowing &#8212; owing to Diana&#8217;s planned ritual to release Vlad from hell &#8212; it leaves those left fighting for their lives.<\/p>\n<p>Some of its budget fixes work okay &#8212; at one point director Derek Hockenbrough inventively sidesteps the messy practical requirements of an on-screen stabbing by cutting to just after the moment of violence within a scene &#8212; but &#8220;The Impaler&#8221; overall doesn&#8217;t really have the resources to convincingly pull off its period piece flashbacks with the &#8220;real&#8221; Vlad (Gregory Lee Kenyon), or even sustain tension for long stretches. A plot strand connecting one of the kids to the legacy is both sketchy and familiar, and the actors are all a bit old to be playing high schoolers (it would have been much better to age them up, without any real consequence to the story).<\/p>\n<p>Still, the script &#8212; a collaboration by Hockenbrough, Busuioc, Daniel Anghelcev and cinematographer Steve Snyder &#8212; at least gets the sense of circle-of-friends joshing and bickering right, as when Sean turns a mock-argument about the difference between pumps and stilettos into a point about one of his beloved betting parlays. There&#8217;s also an interesting idea that the filmmakers basically nip from &#8220;Seven,&#8221; about the sins or moral weaknesses of the American interlopers playing into their respective fates. One wishes this had been introduced earlier and interwoven with a bit more devilish flair, as it&#8217;s certainly a distinguishing element.<\/p>\n<p>Overall, though, while &#8220;The Impaler&#8221; earns sympathetic points for the committed efforts of its cast and crew, the film itself simply doesn&#8217;t rise beyond the level of calling-card\/reel-inclusion success, to the level of a genuine recommendation.<\/p>\n<p><strong>NOTE:<\/strong> The exclusive Los Angeles engagement of &#8220;The Impaler&#8221; begins October 31, at the Laemmle NoHo7. For more information on the film, visit its website, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.TheImpalerMovie.com\">www.TheImpalerMovie.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Technical: C+<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Acting: C<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Story: C+<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Overall: C<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Written by: Brent Simon<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg\" alt=\"The Impaler\" title=\"The Impaler\" width=\"600\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-135561\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg 2048w, https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler-300x158.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler-1024x540.jpg 1024w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2048px) 100vw, 2048px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Title: The Impaler Director: Derek Hockenbrough Starring: Teo Celigo, Diana Busuioc, Christian Gehring, Christina Collard, Katelynn Derengowski, Marcienne Dwyer, Rocco Nugent, Mark Jacobsen, Gregory Lee Kenyon The &#8220;Twilight&#8221; franchise may have drained its last vein, but vampires of all sorts still remain fairly popular. Indie horror flick &#8220;The Impaler&#8221; tries to put a Romanian spin [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":30,"featured_media":135561,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_cover_media_provider":"image","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_cover_video_id":0,"apple_news_cover_video_url":"","apple_news_cover_embedwebvideo_url":"","apple_news_is_hidden":"","apple_news_is_paid":"","apple_news_is_preview":"","apple_news_is_sponsored":"","apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":[],"apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8,4],"tags":[32873,32874,32841,32878,4902,32838,4675,1636,1760,32877,32839,32876,32875,32840,17995,639,4903],"class_list":["post-135357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-movies","category-reviews","tag-christian-gehring","tag-christina-collard","tag-derek-hockenbrough","tag-diana-busuioc","tag-dracula","tag-full-moon-films","tag-gregory-lee-kenyon","tag-horror-movie","tag-indie-film","tag-katelynn-derengowski","tag-marcienne-dwyer","tag-mark-jacobsen","tag-rocco-nugent","tag-teo-celigo","tag-the-impaler","tag-vampire","tag-vampires"],"apple_news_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>The Impaler Movie Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Title: The Impaler Director: Derek Hockenbrough Starring: Teo Celigo, Diana Busuioc, Christian Gehring, Christina Collard, Katelynn Derengowski, Marcienne\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"The Impaler Movie Review\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Title: The Impaler Director: Derek Hockenbrough Starring: Teo Celigo, Diana Busuioc, Christian Gehring, Christina Collard, Katelynn Derengowski, Marcienne\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/shockyafans\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-11-01T15:00:59+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2048\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1080\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Brent Simon\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@SharedDarkness\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@shockya\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Brent Simon\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Brent Simon\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/bcd3a221bc6b5d67857ae53435fd9d6e\"},\"headline\":\"The Impaler Movie Review\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-11-01T15:00:59+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/\"},\"wordCount\":512,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"CHRISTIAN GEHRING\",\"CHRISTINA COLLARD\",\"DEREK HOCKENBROUGH\",\"DIANA BUSUIOC\",\"DRACULA\",\"FULL MOON FILMS\",\"GREGORY LEE KENYON\",\"HORROR MOVIE\",\"INDIE FILM\",\"KATELYNN DERENGOWSKI\",\"MARCIENNE DWYER\",\"MARK JACOBSEN\",\"ROCCO NUGENT\",\"TEO CELIGO\",\"The Impaler\",\"VAMPIRE\",\"VAMPIRES\"],\"articleSection\":[\"MOVIES\",\"REVIEWS\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/\",\"name\":\"The Impaler Movie Review\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-11-01T15:00:59+00:00\",\"description\":\"Title: The Impaler Director: Derek Hockenbrough Starring: Teo Celigo, Diana Busuioc, Christian Gehring, Christina Collard, Katelynn Derengowski, Marcienne\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg\",\"width\":\"2048\",\"height\":\"1080\",\"caption\":\"The Impaler\"},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"The Impaler Movie Review\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/\",\"name\":\"\",\"description\":\"REAL TALK\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Anakando Media Group\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/anakando.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/anakando.jpg\",\"width\":237,\"height\":213,\"caption\":\"Anakando Media Group\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/shockyafans\/\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/shockya\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/bcd3a221bc6b5d67857ae53435fd9d6e\",\"name\":\"Brent Simon\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/59e698f585a7af0e0b0c9f2b5e5a6bb247c7545b6a4ef2f177ca4bc4d87fc606?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/59e698f585a7af0e0b0c9f2b5e5a6bb247c7545b6a4ef2f177ca4bc4d87fc606?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Brent Simon\"},\"description\":\"A graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Brent Simon is a three-term president of LAFCA, a contributor to Screen International, Newsweek Japan, Magill's Cinema Annual, and many other outlets. He cannot abide a world without U2 and tacos.\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/x.com\/SharedDarkness\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/author\/bsimon\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"The Impaler Movie Review","description":"Title: The Impaler Director: Derek Hockenbrough Starring: Teo Celigo, Diana Busuioc, Christian Gehring, Christina Collard, Katelynn Derengowski, Marcienne","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"The Impaler Movie Review","og_description":"Title: The Impaler Director: Derek Hockenbrough Starring: Teo Celigo, Diana Busuioc, Christian Gehring, Christina Collard, Katelynn Derengowski, Marcienne","og_url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/shockyafans\/","article_published_time":"2013-11-01T15:00:59+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2048,"height":1080,"url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Brent Simon","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@SharedDarkness","twitter_site":"@shockya","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Brent Simon","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/"},"author":{"name":"Brent Simon","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/bcd3a221bc6b5d67857ae53435fd9d6e"},"headline":"The Impaler Movie Review","datePublished":"2013-11-01T15:00:59+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/"},"wordCount":512,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg","keywords":["CHRISTIAN GEHRING","CHRISTINA COLLARD","DEREK HOCKENBROUGH","DIANA BUSUIOC","DRACULA","FULL MOON FILMS","GREGORY LEE KENYON","HORROR MOVIE","INDIE FILM","KATELYNN DERENGOWSKI","MARCIENNE DWYER","MARK JACOBSEN","ROCCO NUGENT","TEO CELIGO","The Impaler","VAMPIRE","VAMPIRES"],"articleSection":["MOVIES","REVIEWS"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/","name":"The Impaler Movie Review","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg","datePublished":"2013-11-01T15:00:59+00:00","description":"Title: The Impaler Director: Derek Hockenbrough Starring: Teo Celigo, Diana Busuioc, Christian Gehring, Christina Collard, Katelynn Derengowski, Marcienne","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg","width":"2048","height":"1080","caption":"The Impaler"},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2013\/11\/01\/the-impaler-movie-review\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"The Impaler Movie Review"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/","name":"","description":"REAL TALK","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#organization","name":"Anakando Media Group","url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/anakando.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/anakando.jpg","width":237,"height":213,"caption":"Anakando Media Group"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/shockyafans\/","https:\/\/x.com\/shockya"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/bcd3a221bc6b5d67857ae53435fd9d6e","name":"Brent Simon","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/59e698f585a7af0e0b0c9f2b5e5a6bb247c7545b6a4ef2f177ca4bc4d87fc606?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/59e698f585a7af0e0b0c9f2b5e5a6bb247c7545b6a4ef2f177ca4bc4d87fc606?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Brent Simon"},"description":"A graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, Brent Simon is a three-term president of LAFCA, a contributor to Screen International, Newsweek Japan, Magill's Cinema Annual, and many other outlets. He cannot abide a world without U2 and tacos.","sameAs":["https:\/\/x.com\/SharedDarkness"],"url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/author\/bsimon\/"}]}},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/demonic-concubines-the-impaler.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pnMiA-zdb","distributor_meta":false,"distributor_terms":false,"distributor_media":false,"distributor_original_site_name":"","distributor_original_site_url":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news","push-errors":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135357","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/30"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=135357"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/135357\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/135561"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=135357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=135357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=135357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}