{"id":155145,"date":"2015-09-19T10:02:24","date_gmt":"2015-09-19T17:02:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/?p=155145"},"modified":"2015-09-19T10:02:24","modified_gmt":"2015-09-19T17:02:24","slug":"cooties-movie-review","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2015\/09\/19\/cooties-movie-review\/","title":{"rendered":"Cooties Movie Review"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>COOTIES<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Lionsgate<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Reviewed by: Harvey Karten for Shockya. Databased on Rotten Tomatoes.<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Grade: C<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Director:\u00a0 Jonathan Milott, Cary Murnion<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Written by: Leigh Whannell, Ian Brennan<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Cast: Elijah Wood, Alison Pill Jack McBrayer, Rainn Wilson<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Screened at: Review, NYC, 9\/14\/15<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Opens:\u00a0 September 18, 2015<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Kids all over the country do not like the food served in their cafeteria lunches, or at least pretend to hate the stuff in order to fit in.\u00a0 They call the mysterious, gray meat \u201cmurderburgers,\u201d though not usually expecting their listeners to take them literally.\u00a0 Jonathan Milott and Cary Murnion, who direct \u201cCooties\u201d and Leigh Whannell and Ian Brennan who wrote the script do indeed opt to call some of this lunchroom food killers. Makes no difference that the entr\u00e9e they choose is chicken nuggets and not burgers.\u00a0 A bad piece of chicken becomes a murdernugget. Anyone who eats the stuff becomes afflicted with cooties, a fictitious childhood disease.<\/p>\n<p>Killing with all attendant blood is the order of the day in \u201cCooties,\u201d which among other things violates the rule that you should not show little children getting killed.\u00a0 The fourth graders do get killed such as by being clubbed on the head repeatedly with a fire extinguisher and by being run over by a truck and burned alive.\u00a0 And this is a comedy.\u00a0 \u201cCooties\u201d is a zombie horror-melodrama that proceeds at a frantic pace, designed for the large segments of the movie audience that can\u2019t sit still and listen to normal dialogue.\u00a0 The pace does not really slacken, the stereotypes of teachers and grade-school kids abound.\u00a0 Aside from the age of the zombies, this movie is as derivative as they come.\u00a0 If you generally do not care for zombie movies, you will not dig this one.\u00a0 But if you\u2019re a teacher or even a parent seeking revenge against some little monster, \u201cCooties\u201d will meet your needs, at least for most of its 96 minutes\u2019 length.<\/p>\n<p>Elijah Wood stars as Clint Hadson, an aspiring young writer whose subject for a first novel is a boat that\u2019s possessed, though Clint cannot get past Chapter one.\u00a0 In fact he can\u2019t quite construct an opening sentence.\u00a0 It\u2019s no wonder that he needs to do something to raise money, even if he is living with his mother though into his twenties, but he picks a profession that\u2019s even harder than writing a novel.\u00a0 He becomes a substitute teacher.\u00a0 Figuring that the kids in the rural town of some 45,000 souls would be easy to handle, he could not have been more wrong. What\u2019s more, he has to do double-takes to realize that some of his new colleagues are crazier than the youngsters in their charge, including the macho phys ed dude Wade (Rainn Wilson), the gym teacher\u2019s eternally upbeat girlfriend Lucy (Alison Pill), the socially backward Doug (Leigh Whannell, who spends his free time in the lounge reading a book on how to start a conversation, and the less developed characters of Tracy (Jack McBrayer) and Rebekkah (Nasim Pedrad).<\/p>\n<p>The movie starts with violence and ends with destruction.\u00a0 Milott and Murnion open in a small chicken processing plant where a worker, angry that the bird he chooses to slaughter is fighting him, wrings the creature\u2019s neck.\u00a0 The chickens are then processed into nuggets, covered with goo, and unknown to the workers in the plant are infected with a virus.\u00a0 When the kids eat the lunch, they quickly turn into zombies, starting when one of the teased girls leaps on her tormentor and takes a deep bite from his cheek.\u00a0 Soon enough the youngsters form a bloody alliance against the common enemy, the teaching staff, which then spends most of the film running from the undead or fighting them with fire extinguishers, gasoline, whips and chains.\u00a0 Usually zombies do not run: they walk with purpose toward the humans but kids being kids, they are quite capable of running, tearing apart any human that could not get out of their way.<\/p>\n<p>There are some romantic moments as between Clint and Lucy to the chagrin of Lucy\u2019s regular b.f. but without a social message (\u201cCooties\u201d could have been an allegory of over-medicated children and parents strung out of prescription drugs) there is little other than mayhem and stereotypical dialogue in this derivative pic.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Rated R.\u00a0 96 minutes.\u00a0 \u00a9 Harvey Karten, Member, New York Film Critics Online<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Story \u2013 C<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Acting \u2013 C-<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Technical \u2013 C+<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Overall &#8211; C<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/coot.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/coot.jpg\" alt=\"coot\" width=\"600\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-155300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/coot.jpg 780w, https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/coot-300x191.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 780px) 100vw, 780px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>COOTIES Lionsgate Reviewed by: Harvey Karten for Shockya. Databased on Rotten Tomatoes. Grade: C Director:\u00a0 Jonathan Milott, Cary Murnion Written by: Leigh Whannell, Ian Brennan Cast: Elijah Wood, Alison Pill Jack McBrayer, Rainn Wilson Screened at: Review, NYC, 9\/14\/15 Opens:\u00a0 September 18, 2015 Kids all over the country do not like the food served in [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":37,"featured_media":155300,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"apple_news_api_created_at":"","apple_news_api_id":"","apple_news_api_modified_at":"","apple_news_api_revision":"","apple_news_api_share_url":"","apple_news_cover_media_provider":"image","apple_news_coverimage":0,"apple_news_coverimage_caption":"","apple_news_cover_video_id":0,"apple_news_cover_video_url":"","apple_news_cover_embedwebvideo_url":"","apple_news_is_hidden":"","apple_news_is_paid":"","apple_news_is_preview":"","apple_news_is_sponsored":"","apple_news_maturity_rating":"","apple_news_metadata":"\"\"","apple_news_pullquote":"","apple_news_pullquote_position":"","apple_news_slug":"","apple_news_sections":[],"apple_news_suppress_video_url":false,"apple_news_use_image_component":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8,4],"tags":[32489,877,4352],"class_list":["post-155145","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-movies","category-reviews","tag-cooties","tag-elijah-wood","tag-zombies"],"apple_news_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.1.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Cooties Movie Review<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"COOTIES Lionsgate Reviewed by: Harvey Karten for Shockya. 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