{"id":92323,"date":"2012-04-29T19:54:10","date_gmt":"2012-04-30T02:54:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/?p=92323"},"modified":"2012-05-13T09:09:12","modified_gmt":"2012-05-13T16:09:12","slug":"the-2012-movie-rankings-safe-leads-the-pack-of-mediocre-crap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.shockya.com\/news\/2012\/04\/29\/the-2012-movie-rankings-safe-leads-the-pack-of-mediocre-crap\/","title":{"rendered":"The 2012 Movie Rankings: Safe leads the pack of mediocre crap"},"content":{"rendered":"

Everyone waits until the year is over to compile their “Best of whatever” movie lists. This has become a mundane practice. Time for a bit of a change, kids.<\/em><\/p>\n

One would think that a movie that is the equivalent of cinematic ambien for yours truly, would automatically land at the very bottom of this list. Actually, by falling asleep, that response more than likely saved The Pirates! Band of Misfits<\/em> from earning that dishonorable recognition in some sort of strange way. So in conclusion, the weekend before the 2012 summer movies season ended up being comparable to bland warm-up act for a headlining performer. <\/p>\n

The new releases for the respective week will have a capsule review at the end of the column. An updated list comes out every Monday. Here’s how things are shaking up so far in 2012:<\/p>\n

1.\tChronicle
\n2.\tThe Cabin in the Woods
\n3.\tRed Tails
\n4.\tThe Grey
\n5.\tGame Change
\n6.\tThe Secret World of Arrietty
\n7.\tDr. Seuss’ The Lorax
\n8.\tFriends with Kids
\n9.\tThe Raid: Redemption
\n10.\tTyler Perry’s Good Deeds
\n11.\tBig Miracle
\n12.\tThink Like a Man
\n13.\t21 Jump Street
\n14.\tBrake
\n15.\tMirror Mirror
\n16.\tThis Means War
\n17.\tThe Three Stooges
\n18.\tGone
\n19.\tBlue Like Jazz
\n20.\tAmerican Reunion
\n21.\tJeff, Who Lives at Home
\n22.\tJourney 2: The Mysterious Island
\n23.\tBrooklyn Brothers Beat the Best
\n24.\tSafe
\n25.\tSearching for Sonny
\n26.\tThe Hunger Games
\n27.\tJohn Carter
\n28.\tWrath of the Titans
\n29.\tDead Dad
\n30.\tUnderworld: Awakening
\n31.\tThe Devil Inside
\n32.\tThe Five-Year Engagement
\n33.\tDowntown Express
\n34.\tProject X
\n35.\tThe Raven
\n36.\tSilent House
\n37.\tBully
\n38.\tPeace, Love, & Misunderstanding
\n39.\tLockout
\n40.\tThe Woman in Black
\n41.\tThe Vow
\n42.\tMan on a Ledge
\n43.\tThe Lucky One
\n44.\tContraband
\n45.\tAct of Valor
\n46.\t4:44 Last Day on Earth
\n47.\tSafe House
\n48.\tGhost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
\n49.\tThe Pirates! Band of Misfits
\n50.\tKill List
\n51.\tHaywire
\n52.\tA Thousand Words
\n53.\tJoyful Noise
\n54.\tWanderlust<\/strong><\/p>\n

Not Screened:<\/strong> One for the Money, Casa De Mi Padre, Chimpanzee<\/em><\/p>\n

The Raven<\/em><\/p>\n

When factoring in the tone and atmosphere of this 111 minute tale, comparisons to 2001\u2019s From Hell<\/em> come to mind. Gloomy colors and callous set pieces, coupled with the 19th century costuming and demeanors, create an environment that is kind of cool to dive into. In the end though, the storytelling pattern is virtually the same, and at times subpar, as any other flick that dances with concept of the killer \u201ccommunicating\u201d with his pursuers.<\/p>\n

The Five-Year Engagement<\/em><\/p>\n

It has a lot wrong with it but it flashes enough potential to get one through this. Will it ever be a Stoller and Segel comedy you would want to watch again? Not a chance. It\u2019s essentially just like going on a boring first date, but you stick with it because you never know whether the night will end with a bang or a not (the Italian in me) thanks to a few timely connective sparks.<\/p>\n

The Pirates! Band of Misfits<\/em><\/p>\n

Look, when one can comfortably dose off into a light sleeping state, in a packed theater mind you, one must assume this just isn\u2019t working. There were no group laughs to jar yours truly awake (but hitting my head on an arm rest while wearing 3D glasses did the trick though) and the physical aspects could only do so much to maintain interest levels. Granted, the final sequence shows the talent on the mechanical side of things and the script does a decent job (finally) in bringing everything to a close; but the lack of charisma in this brief journey earns this the label of: The Most Uninteresting 3D Animated Movie in the World. Well, at least for 2012.<\/p>\n

Safe<\/em><\/p>\n

Toward the end of last year, this guy anointed action-star Jason Statham with his own brand of movies; similar to Jackie Chan and\/or Adam Sandler. Safe, is yet another patented \u201cJason Statham flick.” Read Review<\/a><\/p>\n

Releasing this Friday: <\/strong>The Avengers, The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel<\/em><\/p>\n

SEE THE 4\/23 RANKINGS<\/a><\/p>\n

FOLLOW JOE BELCASTRO ON HIS NEWLY CREATED TWITTER<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Safe\"<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everyone waits until the year is over to compile their “Best of whatever” movie lists. This has become a mundane practice. Time for a bit of a change, kids. One would think that a movie that is the equivalent of cinematic ambien for yours truly, would automatically land at the very bottom of this list. 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