Title: Scary Movie 5
Director: Malcolm D. Lee
Starring: Ashley Tisdale, Simon Rex, Erica Ash, Snoop Dogg, Molly Shannon, Terry Crews, Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Lidia Porto, Bow Wow, and a bunch of worthless cameos

Disclaimer: The same amount of effort put forth to conjure up Scary Movie 5 will be mirrored in this review.

The flicks spoofed this time around are Mama, Paranormal Activity franchise, Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Black Swan, Evil Dead (remake), and couple other feeble nods to blockbuster titles (i.e. Inception).

While Simon Rex and Lidia Porto are trying, I’ve seen porno movies with more creativity, better acting (even when they’re trying to mock the genre), and all-around mechanic proficiency. There’s a solid chance you can just search “Crap movie” on Youtube, click on any of the search results, and it will be far better than this barely half-assed showcase.

Scary Movie 1 & 2 were sharp, focused and bloody funny. The proceeding sequels have shit the bed. And this latest installment should bury the franchise.

This is not only the worst movie of 2013, but the worst last year and the year before that. It will torture your mind, body, and soul. Shame on you if you pay to see this (cause then we’ll have a 6th).

Technical: F
Story: F
Acting: F
Overall: EF (Epic Failure)

Updated 5/12/2017

Scary Movie 5

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Scary Movie 5
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By Joe Belcastro

Joe Belcastro is an established movie critic in Tampa, Florida. As a member of the Florida Film Critics Circle, most of his time is spent reviewing upcoming movies. He also covers news pertaining to the film industry, on both a local and national level as well as conducting interviews. To contact Joe Belcastro regarding a story or with general questions about his services, please e-mail him and/or follow him on Twiiter @TheWritingDemon.

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