Subspin Productions
Reviewed by: Tami Smith, Film Reviewer for Shockya
Grade: B-
Director: Stephen Portland
Screenwriter: Stephen Portland
Cast: Michael Gazin, Jane Rowen, Joel Clark Ackerman, Eric Roberts
Release Date: March 1, 2019

Something is a theatrically photographed mystery-drama-film, with three principal actors: Man (Michael Gazin), Woman (Jane Rowen) and Him (an uncredited baby boy) living in a large suburban house in Any Town, U.S.A. There is also a Ghost, that may have come from a Halloween party, but where would we be without one in a horror movie?

Man and Woman are newly-minted thirty-something parents, that just moved into a glass ranch-house without having the slightest clue that things are “not OK”, when a mystery figure starts appearing on their TV baby-monitor, when the hot water system breaks down, and the fire alarm starts beeping in the middle of the night. They always assume that things will be better in the morning, while taking a fresh look and reassessing “the situation”. As a matter of fact things are not OK, and their lives deteriorate fast during a few short days. Finally they call the police, but Cop (Joel Clark Ackerman) and Rookie (Evan Carver) are not helping much, while handcuffing Man and suspecting him of malicious intent.

Something’s screenplay, written by director Stephen Portland, leaves a lot to be desired. His choice of principal actors is questionable since both Michael Gazin and Jane Rowen do not even pretend to have met before the first day of production. Cute baby Him saves the day by contributing a healthy dose of crying, but alas he comes uncredited.

Just as we are about to give up on Something we are introduced to Coroner (Eric Roberts), outfitted with a ridiculous wig, who provides this “creation” with some straight-face humor, during the last few minutes.

Something is blissfully short, at eighty-six minutes, and comes with properly scary music by Charlie Emerson, and good cinematography by Christopher James Jordan.

Do not expect anything from Something, but bring a large tab of popcorn!

86 minutes. Unrated © Tami Smith, Film Reviewer

Story: B
Acting: C+
Technical: B
Overall: B-

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