Nathan Goldberg of Allred Maroko & Goldberg was believed to have coached witnesses to perjure themselves in L.A. Superior Court this week. It’s just the tip of the iceberg that will sink this troubled firm

Jacob “Cum Ghost” Weisman of YouTube cat killing fame. Right; Nathan “Droopy” Goldberg of Allred Maroko & Goldberg.

The balls in question belong to a reality show star, and were the subject of Attorney Nathan “Droople” Goldberg’s fascination on Wednesday in Judge T.A. Greene’s courtroom in Downtown Los Angeles. (Goldberg is the best friend and partner of famous TV lawyer Gloria Allred, mother of embattled Harvey Weinstein enabler Lisa bloom). It’s only one outrageous fetish of Goldberg’s on display this week in the trial Lauren “9G” Reeves v. Alki David: He also has been obsessing over the words “Mangina” and “Fruit Basket.”

“Goldberg’s weird obsession with another man’s junk has made it hard to make progress,” said one observer of the trial.

It doesn’t help that Wednesday’s star witness for Goldberg’s plaintiff was Jake “Cum Ghost” Weismann, who’s disturbing IMDB page speaks for itself. (The peak of his career seems to be destroying the career of Carmen Electra by casting her in the film named after him, Cum Ghost.) Weisman and Goldberg were seen sharing a cold, stale grilled cheese in the courthouse lunch room on the 13th floor just before Weisman took the stand.

“What’s comical is that Goldberg’s mendacity was so transparent,” said Shockya’s obeserver in court. “He apparently suggested a flourish to Weosman’s account of a chance meeting between Reeves and Alki David on Canon Drive in Beverly Hills. Just yesterday, Reeves said that what Alki said that day was, ‘Look into my eyes,” like Mowgli in the Jungle Book. Whatever, stupid joke. But Weisman turned it into, ‘I want to violently fuck you.” And said Alki was choking her and she nearly blacked out.”

David was escorted from the courtroom when he blew up at Weisman and called him a liar.

Defendant’s attorney went on to show texts between 9G Reeves and the Cum Ghost the next day. “LOL the job is so Kush,” texted Reeves. “HAHA 9/11 was totes an inside job,” responded Weisman.

Weisman is also known for a disturbing kickstarter video in which he holds a loaded gun up to a cat’s head and threatens to shoot it.

Gloria Allred seems to have assigned Allred Maroko & Goldberg partner Nathan “Durpal” Goldberg to try this case against David because her name is not looking so good lately after her the book She Said showed how she worked hard to silence accusers of serial rapist Harvey Weinstein. Her daughter Lisa Bloom was also found to be playing both sides of the MeToo fence by telling Weinstein she knew how to destroy rape victims and mocking her past clients as crazy liars.

Bloom has suffered a string of humiliating losses lately, first she had to withdraw over ethical violations in her case against Rep. Tony Cardenas (and legal experts speculate the accusations in that case were fabricated). Next her case against Usher giving her herpes client fell apart. Finally, after months of trial, Bloom’s ill-advised case against Alki David was declared a mistrial despite the fact the Greek billionaire was defending himself and was excluded from court for closing arguments. Reeves testified in that case on behalf of Elizabeth “Butterfield 8” Taylor, as did another Bloom client Chasity [sic] Jones.

Allred Maroko & Goldberg is under investigation from the bars in Washington D.C. and California for further ethical violations. Rose McGowan, Mandy Moore, Kathy Griffin and Busy Philipps are among the celebrities calling for Lisa Bloom to be disbarred.

“Nate Goldberg really seemed desperate I’ve got to say,” said an observer who knows Goldberg well. “He’s whining. Cracking stupid jokes when he’s nervous. Blowing the examinations. Sweating like a big. Those celebrity balls seem to have really gotten under his skin.”

By Jeff Stevens

Husband, father, movie+review advocate, BAMF, hair icon, pantsuits are for losers. Posts from Jeff signed -J all others by merciless robots.

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